Lumberjacks

According to a new book I just checked out at the library: The Alphabet of Manliness, lumberjacks evolved from pirates.  (See graphic on right.)

Sometimes, when I am lonely, I wish I were a lumberjack.  They almost always have big muscles and no one ever messes with them.  

I thought I wanted to be a lumberjack.  Then I thought, if I grew a beard and turned myself into lumberjack material, I would probably end up looking like this guy:

Not as cool as I thought.